From what I gather, the theme of this book, which seems pretty tremendous and all encompassing, is based on the following quote:
“What we believe about food and eating is an exquisite reflection of all our beliefs.”
To me, that sounds huge and unbelievable. I mean, the title of the book itself had me scratching my head, but obviously I picked it up, read it cover to cover and am now examining it more in depth so SOMETHING is drawing me in. I just can’t wrap my head around it all.
The author writes how after she stopped years and years of serious yo-yo dieting, she too didn’t quite understand the connection, but she began relating the lens through which she saw almost everything to her relationship with food.
I’m trying so hard to understand all of this, and I think it starts on page 14, when the author admits to her difficulty trusting herself around food, which eventually led her to contemplate “trusting less tangible hungers” — for rest, contact, meaning in life, etc.
Okay, I’m sorry, but I’m still not getting it. How do you trust a less tangible hunger? Why should you trust a less tangible hunger? To know that it’s OK to want things and not get them? (Like you know you want that chocolate cake, but it’s OK that you’re not going to eat it?)
She goes on to say the following:
“If I tracked the impulse to eat when I wasn’t hungry to its core, I’d find every single thing I believed about loving, living, and dying right there, in that moment.”
But she doesn’t explain quickly enough for me what exactly she believed, so that I can find out if I believe the same things, so that I can determine if she’s right or if this whole book is a sham! What did she believe? That she would never experience enough love to fix the lack of love she felt growing up? That she would never be able to live the life she really, truly, secretly wanted to live? That we’re all going to die anyways, so we might as well eat cake?
That can’t be it. Can it? Do I take my childhood issues, my daddy issues, my ISSUES, to the fridge every time I stop in front of it?
If each of us truly has a basic view of reality and God that we cast out every day in our relationships with family members, friends and food, I need to figure out what mine is, as soon as possible. Right? That’s what I’ve been saying all along. It’s the journey that counts, not the destination.
I kind of like the idea behind it — I think it’s true, to a degree, and it meshes quite well with another quote I’ve been trying to track down all day, about how we if we spend our days trying to be what we want to become, we end up becoming what it is we want to be (or something like that.). In a sense, there is no finding of oneself. It’s the creation, the act, the moments, and the choices. And if I bring my relationship with my mom into everything, or what other people think, or my fear of falling, then I guess I’m not really living freely without casting a glare on things, without going into anything and everything with preconceived notions.
Am I beginning to understand all of this mumbo-jumbo? I still think some of it’s a little drastic, a stretch, but maybe that’s because I’m not willing to give in yet. We’re always learning. I’m on the path. Gaining confidence one day at a time. Thank you for coming on this journey with me.